A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet

We have all heard the famous Shakespeare quote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” This is one of Shakespeare’s most famous quotes, providing us a foundation that we can build our sense of identity on.

Said by Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, it is a profound look into how identify the important things in our lives. Basically, she is asking, “Why should we assign so much meaning to a label in the first place?” In other words, the name of something does not affect what it really is…but does it, especially if we are considering the name change a woman undergoes when she marries?

Certain the heart and soul of the woman does not change, but is there a psychological effect when a woman sheds her maiden name for some new alphabet skin? Lindsay Rosasco of Huff Post tries to answer this very question. It’s an important question for her, because she kept her maiden name.

She writes, “Although I love my husband and even his last name, the fact of the matter is that it is not my name. Changing my name felt like giving up my identity. I did a lot of research on the topic. I listened to lots of people. I have heard it all – you’re not losing your identity, you’re gaining a new part of yourself. If you don’t change your name, you aren’t honoring your husband. If I had a different name than my husband, how would people know we were married? Wouldn’t that be confusing?”

Sounds a lot like Juliet’s quote, doesn’t it? In Rosasco’s eyes, it was a polarizing decision. Some felt like she was abandoning her husband; others said she was being a feminist. Although she received the support of her husband, she still felt weird. It was a matter of respect and honor. If a woman changes her name to honor her husband, how does the husband honor the wife? Such a question can lead to a downward spiral or, at the very least, a rabbit hole that is tough to climb out of.

At the end of the day, when you break down why women change their names, the result might seem a little dark. The traditions stems from a more male-dominated society where women were viewed as property, suggesting that a woman must not have an identity separate from her husband. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and you alone. You are responsible for your own identity and it doesn’t matter what label you smack on it, it will always be your identity.

At Kelli Burns Entertainment, we want you to keep in mind that your wedding is about you and your spouse – that’s it. That means it is important for you to feel comfortable with your identity and that could be your name or the music that will be played. We are here to help make your wedding all about you, the way it should be, no matter what label you slap onto your big day.